Wake me up when September ends

It's September.

Happy September. Sad September. Lovey dovey September. And heartbroken September.

Maybe I should start my September chapter with this one stupid love story of mine.

Yeap, I fell in love, again. Actually, the second guy I fell in love with at UTeM. I can't say much about him but he's the only guy who is so not my taste but successfully makes me fall deeply in love with.

1. He's not that good looking.
2. He's talkative.
3. He has no manner.
4. He's a player.
5. He's not sensitive.
6. He's a bad tempered person.
7. He's a total flirt.
8. He can never be serious.
9. He hates commitment.
10.He's egoistic and arrogant.

And he's a person whom I can hate and love at the same time.

Many things happen in just a very short time. He shows his interest in me. So obviously that I guess other people can see it as well as I did too. And he admits he loves me.

Because of many things too, I don't think he loves me as much as I did. I don't think he can give me that much love. I guess he didn't trust me. I care about him though. I'm sensitive about his changes, his mood, his expression.

Did he care about what I feel?

No.

Because he's not sensitive. He's egoistic and he's arrogant.

He once said he'll change for a certain someone.

I was there for him but he didn't change at all.

That's enough answer: "I'm not that certain someone, am I?"

Every relationship has to grow or die. He's not willing to let it grow so it has to die.

And with that, I have lost this love.

Maybe he's not the right guy...




Please God,
if that person in my dream is real,
let him be my saviour.

Baby When The Lights Go Out

Inspite of all the consequence
Inspite of all my pride
Inspite of little things you said
That hide me deep inside

I believe your love
I breathe your love
Like the air in the morning
I sleep your love
I salute your love
And I can't get away

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you

The lights of all you see
You could have overcome all this
And I still can't get over you
Are you someone I'll forever miss
I believed your love I can feel your love
And that's all that I wanted
I sleep your love I salute your love
And I can't get away

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you

And there's the dark, begins to rain
The sound is heavy on me

Baby when the lights go out
I need you

Under the spell I wanna be under your touch
Under the spell I wanna be under the rush

Baby when the lights go out

Baby when the lights go out

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you

Baby when the lights go out
I hear you calling (I hear you calling)
Baby when the lights go out
I need you


[well, he's quite attractive for a DJ]


Please God,
if that person in my dream is real,
let him be my saviour.

Friends?

"You have a forever friend, and forever has no end."
A quote from internet.

Just how true it is, indeed.
How can someone says, 'friend forever!'
while the word FRIEND itself ends with END?





Please God,
if that person in my dream is real,
let him be my saviour.

Dear best friend,

Do you know what hobby gives me more fun and pleasure besides sketching and writing?

It is torturing you, mentally.

Somehow, the thought that you're suffering,
waiting and begging for my forgiveness is somehow

....exhilarating.

That what puts you in a very special place in my heart.

Because you're the only one,
[the only person]
that adapt to my childishness,
stubbornness,
eagerness.

You accept me for who I am,
while with others,
I'm struggling to be a better person.
[even if it contradicts me in all aspects]

Special thanks to you.

My request is,
"Can you be my friend for a little while longer?"

So I can keep torturing you.

It's okay right?
Since you're the only best friend I have ever had.




Please God,
if that person in my dream is real,
let him be my saviour.

It was always like this...

People said,

All of the painful things, the hardness of life, it was just God testing you to be stronger.

But I was always wondering, if my life was fated to be this painful,
why was I born at the first place?





Please God,
if that person in my dream is real,
let him be my saviour.